I am hitting 20 in a few months and yet I have parents who are still treating me like a kid. Who think I am unable to think for myself. Who think I am a naive and easily influenced person. And that is after I have proved to them that I am not that easily influenced nor am I as naive as they think I am. All these proving are done through actions and not words and yet they choose to turn a blind eye to it. Still insisting on ‘protecting’ me from the ‘bad guy’ (my boyfriend) yet they are the true bad ones. Beat that man.
(Don’t worry this is not a ranting post.)
Let’s face it. Which parent does not care for their children’s safety and well-being? After all, children are the essence of their parents and they have the blood of their parents flowing within their veins.
But what happens when parents care too much for their children? To the point where their children feel suffocated? I personally know a parent, to quote her, who said “There is no such thing as being overly cautious.” I really do not agree with that. Being overly cautious can harm their children in the long run, and quite badly may I add.
Someone gave me a rather interesting analogy: Imagine a family living in the wild (Think amazon, tribes etc.) The father knows how to hunt, the mother knows how to cook, clean and do other house maintenance chores. The father/mother do not want to teach their daughter to hunt because they feels it’s dangerous, while the mother does not teach the daughter how to do house chores because of rather illogical reasons which I shall not name. In the end, their daughter is unequipped with survival skills. What then? When her parents pass away, what’s going to happen to her?
I admit. It is the natural instinct of a parent to want to protect their child. Even in the wild, when a wolf’s pup is threatened, the mother would react ferociously towards the attacker.
However, there are times when the parent must learn to let go. Otherwise, the child will never learn to survive. In fact, it can worsen the relationships between both parties (the child and the parent).
Instead of putting a leash on the child (not literally or else the parent would be having tea with the judge), why not let the child explore? Of course before that, teach the child just the basics of survival. In the wild, it includes fishing, hunting, cooking, fashioning weapons etc. In the city, essential skills include basic courtesy, social etiquette, morals and values. Know what is right and what is wrong. Know the law.
Beyond that, parents should not touch their children anymore. I probably cannot emphasize this enough but too much protection will lead to the child being weak and unable to survive in the real world. Parents must understand that when the time has come to let go, they should do it and not try to cling on to the child anymore.
Here is an article from Psychology Today which is rather related to my post. Enjoy =]