If I Never Knew You

This is my first dedication post to a person whom, even though was together with me for only five months, has made a really huge impact on my life. He is none other than my soul mate.

Of course, to me, he is more than just a soul mate. He’s also my boyfriend, a brother, a foster father, an excellent buddy, a mentor, my superior…and goodness knows what else.

Throughout this five months we have gone through much together. We have had both internal conflicts (within ourselves) and external conflicts (from outside). Yet, we never fail to hang on tight to each other, hands never letting go and our bond growing stronger with each conflict, especially external ones, which come our way.

I would like to thank him for all that he has done for me. His persistence, his understanding, his care and concern for me…He has given me many things which I have sought for in this life and yet never managed to find.

Even though there has been many times when he has been stressed out by others to break up with me, to the point of him falling ill and causing him mental stress, he still held on tight and not let go.

I admit. I am different from others my age. I can socialize but I cannot seem to find someone who can truly understand me as a person. My real self and not my public self. (Well just a little note, I feel like I can be more natural in public than in my own home but never mind that.)

He is probably the only one so far who can understand me and even explain to me the kind of person I am. And without him, I would probably have never known half of my true capabilities.

It is so sad that he is such a misunderstood person. There are those who see him as a bad person when they do not even know him at all, apart from meeting him once or twice and then jumping to conclusions about who he is. In addition to that, his intelligence and knowledge is quite under-appreciated.

To me, he is like a diamond in the rough, waiting for the right time and right one to help him shine.  I know I will not be able to do much. But I do hope that I will be able to assist in anyway I can to help him.

With him, my life has more meaning and now I have a purpose. I no longer feel ‘dead’ and numb to emotions like I was previously.

This song is thus dedicated to him because I feel that the lyrics really does portray my emotions.

“If I never knew you” from Pocahontas:

Lyrics:

If I never knew you
If i never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I’d find in you
The missing part of me.

In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So bright your eyes

And I’m so grateful to you
I’d have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

If I never knew you
I’d be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true

I’m so grateful to you
I’d have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we’d make the whole world bright
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
all they’d leave us were these wispers in the night
But still my heart is saying we were right

Oh if I never knew you
There’s no moment I regret
If i never felt this love
Since the moment that we met
I would have no inkling of
If our time has gone too fast
How precious life can be…
I’ve lived at last…

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we’d make the whole world bright
I thought our love wuold be so beautiful
We’d turn the darkness into light
And still my heart is saying we were right
we were right

And if I never knew you
If I never knew you
I’d have lived my whole life through
Empty as the sky
Never knowing why
Lost forever
If I never knew you

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