Youngsters and Relationships (and tips)

Here are two of the top few things I dread in this world(yes, stereotypical. Good for you if you don’t fall into either categories.)

  1. I really do not appreciate males who treat females as objects/trophies, worst if it’s a toy – something to play with and thrown aside when one gets bored of it.
  2. I really do not appreciate females who keep using PMS as an excuse to get their ways. You’re just making lives harder for the guys and pushing them away from you. Then you complain about them cheating. Wow. Really.

No. I’m not a 40-year-old middle-age mother or single or something. I’m just a simple 21 year old young lady (or some people still call me girl cause of my looks) who just witnessed a horrifying trend amongst couples these days.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but youngsters these days (yes, even those at my age) are starting to take relationships a little too lightly. They bypass the dating stage and happily jump into a relationship and boast about it on their Facebook status, Twitter status etc.  Like, “Bla bla bla has changed from Single to In A Relationship”. And within a few weeks or so, the same person would become single again. Then attached. Then Single. Attached. Single. Attached – ok you get my point. Why? They aren’t ready to handle arguments. They’re kids, they can’t think critically, they think they’re all grown up when they are NOWHERE near being an adult. So what happens when they argue? Cry and break up lor. Then it’s either jump ship or get back together.

Just so you know, it’s a growing trend.

In the past, the term ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ is a treasured term, used ONLY towards SPECIFIC people. Nowadays ah? FREE FLOW! We are starting to use these terms VERY loosely. Words like ‘Love’ are even worst and very VERY over rated now.

Nowadays I see KIDS! YES KIDS! Barely out of Primary School with some even JUST entering Primary school, dating. Going out. And boasting “Oh I Love my boyfriend.” or “I love my girlfriend.” I facepalm. Do they even know what a girlfriend or boyfriend is? Do they even know the consequences of being in a relationship? Do they even KNOW WHAT A RELATIONSHIP is?!

Then we have STOMPers who post up various photos of people PDA-ing. There’re some reasons why some things should be done behind closed doors. It’s just weird. And BEFORE you start going on about how things are like that these days, stop. It’s about respecting the previous generation’s ideals. Yes, they are old-fashioned but they are STILL the generation that gave us the base and foundation to grow up in. So yea, think about that before you start criticizing the older generation.

I’ve heard horror stories of students killing themselves, cutting themselves, and hurting themselves in ways that I would not like to describe, just cause of a break-up. If you are NOT ready to enter a relationship, DON’T!

Until you are SURE that you’re emotionally ready to handle a relationship, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not enter one.

And if you have not finished your international exams (O levels and A levels), unless you are born more matured than others, you SHOULD NOT be in a relationship.

Crushes, puppy love, sometimes it gets too overwhelming but stop and think. Sometimes your crush might be an asshole even though he or she appears to be charismatic/charming at first look. I’ve seen many people getting hurt because their partners are an ass.

If, you have finished your international exams, and reckon you’re ready…here are some tips:

  1. EVALUATE YOUR POTENTIAL PARTNER – this is very important. Don’t jump into a relationship immediately. Take your time, evaluate. If that person doesn’t wait for you, he or she is not worth it.
  2. LEARN TO SAY NO – If your partner pressurizes you into doing something you are not comfortable with (most commonly sex, but not just that of course, could be anything) say no. Of course only say no when it goes against your personal morals OR if it endangers you one way or another (Assisting in chores is NOT an endangering activity my dear females and males out there)
  3. BE YOURSELF – Compromise for your partner, yes. Changing totally for your partner, NO! Please do not change your style of dressing or character for your partner. Do so ONLY IF you wish to do it of your own free will. Do not do so because your partner says so. Stand up for yourself. If your partner is too domineering for you, walk away. Do not lose control over your own life because of that one person.
  4. BE EMPATHETIC – Your partner is a living, breathing human too. Treat him/her like one. Learn to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. You don’t have to feel what he/she feels, just understand why he/she is feeling a certain way. (Yes, guys. It’s hard for you to do it for your girlfriends but just try. And girls, do not constantly make things difficult for your boyfriends by acting spoilt and being demanding.)
  5. LET BYGONES BE BYGONES – Arguments? Fine. It’s common. Just make sure you two come to a conclusion/compromise, wrap the case up and throw it away. DO NOT EVER EVER bring up old arguments to new ones. It just make things worst. And NEVER EVER let arguments be left hanging. It can build up, snowball and lead to chaotic situations.
  6. BE SELFLESS – In a relationship, it’s no longer about me, me, me. You have to make some sacrifices. Whether it be space, or freedom. (Ironically for me, I had more freedom after being in a relationship.) But remember, compromise to a level that you are both comfortable with. Negotiate if you have to.
  7. BE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER – YES! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! Don’t just be lovers. Be friends! Be siblings! That’s how my fiance and I survive. We do not see each other as just lovers but friends and siblings as well. We talk to each other and discuss things as friends when we find that things are not going well between us.
  8. GOLD-DIGGERS? GET LOST. If you suspect your partner is a gold-digger, do not hesitate to walk away. Seriously, not worth it. If they’re only after you for money, let them go after Sugar Daddy or Mummys instead. Makes more logic sense and saves you the trouble of becoming bankrupt.

In conclusion…don’t enter a relationship if you’re not ready and do NOT take relationships lightly. It should only occur if you really love the person. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try out relationships but please make sure you are ready emotionally, physically and financially. Ok?

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One thought on “Youngsters and Relationships (and tips)

  1. Tetsu says:

    Times have changed. Even the minds of people have warped into casual thinking. To them, its take, take and take. Few hardly give back. Not to mention relationships, it also happens to friendships.

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