欢子 – 心痛 (Heart in Pain)

你的脸贴在我胸口
泪水早已渗透了我的衣袖
你我都沉默了许久
不该说的话你终于说出口

只怪自己当初没有抓紧你的手
失去了你我才知道你有多重要
现在说后悔也没有用
心虽然很痛

只怪自己当初没有将爱说出口
现在想说声爱你已找不到借口
失去你以后
我连呼吸也好难受

拥抱过后你转身就走
我笑着说再见心却在颤抖
我已没有勇气问你
离开的理由
想说声爱你已很久
可我从来都没有
以前我对你不够好
我也很难受

只怪自己当初没有抓紧你的手
失去了你我才知道你有多重要
现在说后悔也没有用
心虽然很痛
只怪自己当初没有将爱说出口
现在想说声爱你已找不到借口
失去你以后
我连呼吸也好难受

English Translation:

Your face was buried in my chest

With your tears having soaked through my sleeves

We were both silent for a long while

With you finally saying those forbidden words

 

Only having myself to be blamed for not holding you tight enough

Only knowing how important you are after losing you

It’s no use regretting now

even though my heart is aching

Only having myself to be blamed for not expressing my love

No longer do you have  any reasons to love me now

After losing you

Even breathing has become unbearable

 

You turned away and left after our embrace

Though smiling as I said goodbye, my heart was trembling on the inside

I’ve lost the courage to ask

for the reason you left

For a long time I’ve wanted to express my love for you

but I never did

For not treating you well in the past,

I feel the weight of my guilt

 

Only having myself to be blamed for not holding you tight enough

Only knowing how important you are after losing you

It’s no use regretting now

even though my heart is aching

Only having myself to be blamed for not expressing my love

No longer do you have  any reasons to love me now

After losing you

Even breathing has become unbearable

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高進 – 沒有一夜不想妳 (There’s not a night where I don’t think about you) Lyrics (Eng Translation)

One nice song I recently came across. Just had to share it.

Translated it so that people who don’t understand Chinese can listen as well ^^

一場雪慢慢下了一個冬季 我的心彷彿過了一個世紀

多想把妳抱在懷裡 不再讓妳受委屈

我說過這一輩子 都會好好的疼妳

忽然間妳消失在人海裡 我找不到 關於妳的一點點消息

神哪算我求求你 告訴她離開的原因

我不想再一個人 傻傻的哭泣

我沒有一夜不想妳 我的心裡好愛妳

可是妳的心 已經不在我這裡

我沒有一夜不想你 我的心裡好愛妳

不願放開手 我還深深的愛著妳

一場雪慢慢下了一個冬季 我的心彷彿過了一個世紀

多想把妳抱在懷裡 不再讓妳受委屈

我說過這一輩子 都會好好的疼妳

忽然間妳消失在人海裡 我找不到 關於妳的一點點消息

神哪算我求求你 告訴她離開的原因

我不想再一個人 傻傻的哭泣

我沒有一夜不想妳 我的心裡好愛妳

可是妳的心 已經不在我這裡

我沒有一夜不想妳 我的心裡好愛妳

不願放開手 我還深深的愛著妳

我沒有一夜不想你 我的心裡好愛妳

可是妳的心 已經不在我這裡

我沒有一夜不想妳 我已經感覺好無力

不願放開手 我還深深的愛著妳

我沒有一夜不想你 我的心裡好愛妳

不願放開手 我還深深的愛著妳

我沒有一夜不想你 我的心裡好愛妳(心裡好愛妳)

可是妳的心 已經不在我這裡(不在我這裡)

我沒有一夜不想妳(沒有一夜不想妳) 我的心裡好愛妳

不願放開手 我還深深的愛著妳(深深的深深的愛著妳..)

(English)

Only a season of winter has passed with the gentle falling of snow, yet my heart feels as if a whole century has passed

How I wish to embrace you in my arms, and not let you suffer any grievances

I have said it before for this whole life, I will always care for you.

You were suddenly lost in a sea of people and I couldn’t find any news on you

Oh God I beg you, please tell me the reason she left

I don’t want to be stupidly crying alone anymore

 

There’s not a night where I don’t think about you, my heart truly loves you so

But your heart is no longer here with me

There’s not a night where I don’t think about you, my heart truly loves you so

Unwilling to let go, I’m still deeply in love with you

 

 

Only a season of winter has passed with the gentle falling of snow, yet my heart feels as if a whole century has passed

How I wish to embrace you in my arms, and not let you suffer any grievances

I have said it before for this whole life, I will always care for you.

You were suddenly lost in a sea of people and I couldn’t find any news on you

Oh God I beg you, please tell me the reason she left

I don’t want to be stupidly crying alone anymore

 

There’s not a night where I don’t think about you, my heart truly loves you so

But your heart is no longer here with me

There’s not a night where I don’t think about you, my heart truly loves you so

Unwilling to let go, I’m still deeply in love with you

There’s not a night where I don’t think about you, my heart truly loves you so

But your heart is no longer here with me

There’s not a night where I don’t think about you, my heart truly loves you so

Unwilling to let go, I’m still deeply in love with you

 

There’s not a night where I don’t think about you, my heart truly loves you so

Unwilling to let go, I’m still deeply in love with you

 

There’s not a night where I don’t think about you, my heart truly loves you so (heart truly loves you so)

But your heart is no longer here with me (no longer here with me)

There’s not a night where I don’t think about you (not a night where I don’t think about you), my heart truly loves you so

Unwilling to let go, I’m still deeply in love with you (deeply and truly in love with you)

‘Women most likely to have affairs at age 37’

Data: Women most likely to have affairs at age 37

Lianhe Wanbao

A compilation of Singapore’s statistics has found that local women are most likely to have extramarital affairs at the age of 37.

This is according to data published in the Singapore’s Department of Statistics Yearbook for 2011.

On this trend, a counsellor from Fei Yue Community Services says that women between 35 to 40 years old can easily fall in love again, leading to problems in their existing marriage.

According to the counsellor, most women would have established their careers by that age and also no longer devote a lot of time to caring for their children, who would already be schooling.

With more free time on their hands, these women will begin to feel lonely.

“When she is free, she will reminisce about the intimacy she had enjoyed with her husband in the past. She’ll hope for her husband to spend more time with her and shower more care on her.”

Craving affection, these lonely women can more easily stray from their marriages.

Source: Lianhe Wanbao, 3 February 2012. Click here for the Chinese report.

Yes I’m a person who thrives on logic and statistics. HOWEVER, I also know that there are times when statistics are inaccurate, therefore, should be taken with a pinch of salt.
THIS – is one of those times.
I have never quite believed that one would be more likely to have affairs at a certain age or being a certain sex alone. There are many other factors that come into play. The strength of the couple’s bond, their upbringing, their personalities, their characterse, morals, principles etc.
The reasoning is here is rather weak.  Or maybe it’s just me. Cause in my opinion, no amount of excuses can cover up the action of having an extra-marital affair. It’s just courting trouble through and through.
Imagine if it’s your partner having the affair, how would you feel? Hurt? Betrayed? Angry? How would your children feel? Think about it.
‘More free time’ and ‘loneliness’ does not justify anything. If you have free time, go hang out with your female friends, why must it be guys? Even if it has to be guys, don’t go one-on-one and watch yourself – keep a distance – or just avoid it altogether.
Loneliness? Lack of intimacy? Talk to your husband. Take time off. Go out on a date. Rekindle those feelings. It’s not easy but then again, since when is maintaining a relationship simple? Relationship is a commitment. That’s that.  NEVER use that as an excuse to go out and have an affair.
And guys out there who’s wives really did have an affair, or vice versa, you’re not off the hook. Whenever either partner has an affair, it’s both parties’ fault. It takes two to clap – and in a relationship – it’s rather true.
There ARE guys out there who really don’t show enough love, care and concern to their wives. I personally know one who goes out all the time and leave all the care-taking to his wife, giving her no emotional support. It sort of started a vicious cycle which ended with their marriage crumbling.
All in all, two conclusions:
1. Affairs can happen at any point in your marriage. Being 37 or 40 or 50 does not mean you will be more or less likely to have one.
2. There are no excuses in this realm that can cover up for the action of having an affair.
Cheers everyone ~

NORMAL doesn’t equate to OK

Fess up.

How many of you have seen something that clearly isn’t right and is detrimental, yet simply brush it off by saying ‘It’s normal’ or something along those lines?

It could be a simple action of flirting with someone else in front of/behind your partner’s back, or losing your virginity/having sex at a young age (by young I mean below 16)

Take this article for example: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christine-bork/teen-dating-violence_b_1247773.html

There was a quote example of Rihanna being assaulted by Chris Brown, yet there were teens who simply brushed it off as ‘normal’ and thought nothing of it. (Some even laughed it off. Good lord.)

So…

When is normal behaviour not equivalent to okay behaviour?

and where should the line be drawn?

Admittedly, there are times when it is not easy to draw the line. Here’s an example:

We have a mother who’s rather overbearing and over-controlling in the eyes of others. That’s normal, right?

But what happens when the child starts to suffer from various harmful symptoms – suicide thoughts, harming him/herself…

Normal. But, is it ok? Is it ok for the child to have these thoughts? It is NORMAL for a teen/child to feel repressed and rebellious at that stage…but is it OKAY when the child has such thoughts running through his/her mind?

It’s normal, oh yes it’s normal. But is it ok?

How about a little kid who falls down when playing? Normal? Yeah sure it’s normal. But when the kid gets hurt real bad, say a broken leg or an extremely deep cut? It’s still normal but it’s definitely not under the ‘okay’ zone anymore.

Think about it.

When is normal not okay anymore.

5 Reasons Women Don’t like Nice Guys (Yahoo News)

Full article: http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/5-reasons-women-dont-nice-guys-150300638.html?

What do I think? Here they are –

1. It’s hard for some of us to trust a Nice Guy. 

No, I do not think that the more trustworthy a guy seems, the harder it is for the women to believe that the guy is as good as he seems. It all boils down to how the women is brought up, not just the whole dating thing, but her surroundings as well. (Duh, if I were to see jackass guys everyday I’d think think that guys are jerks by nature and those who are nice are just acting to get in my pants…or skirt…or dress.)

However, I do agree with this sentence in the article ‘women get kind of jaded about the whole Nice Guy thing (after dating too many jerks)’. I’ve never really dated guys…just had one really horrendous relationship (don’t think it’s even counted but never mind that) and now I’m in a stable, mature relationship that I HOPE will last.

Trusting guys (or anyone for that matter) isn’t easy. We just have to observe (in depth please, not see, look, judge and that’s that.) and come up with our own conclusions. Time? Of course it takes time.

2. Bad Boys care about themselves — a lot — and it makes us think they care about us

To all females (or ANYONE) who think this way…here’s a picture for you:

No, really. Y U NO SEE THAT THIS IS JUST BEING SELFISH?! Those are potential MCPS. I’m not saying that all badass dudes are like that, i’m just saying they COULD be which isn’t the same as saying they ARE. I COULD have cut myself and be an emo-goth chick but I DIDN’T. (Sorry for rambling but I have something against people who jump to conclusions too easily)

Well, I know we aren’t mind-readers by nature but still…unless you’re a submissive, demure to-be-tai-tai or housewife material. These sort of guys are just gonna get on your nerves for being too dominating or overbearing.

Seriously, why do you females out there think these guys are cool anyways? I don’t get it.

3. Nice Guys have their shit together. Bad Boys don’t. Women like a challenge.

Yes. That’s all I have to say. O RLY (Oh, Really?) Wait till you have a wish to settle down and start a family. I challenge all you females out there to do it. Of course, if you do succeed in the challenge, I shall bow down in defeat.

4. Some women are afraid of intimacy. The one thing the Bad Boy rarely does is want to become intimate.

Then don’t enter a relationship. What’s the point of being in a relationship if you don’t wish to be intimate with your partner? Love and intimacy are EXTREMELY important in a relationship.

5. Some women suffer low self-esteem.

These women need help. They don’t need a bad boy who treats her badly. They need PROFESSIONAL help. I myself was a victim and I’m really glad I sought professional help and not let myself be left to continue in the vicious cycle. But then again, it’s up to you.

In conclusion…

This is a rather stereotypical article in my opinion.

 

Youngsters and Relationships (and tips)

Here are two of the top few things I dread in this world(yes, stereotypical. Good for you if you don’t fall into either categories.)

  1. I really do not appreciate males who treat females as objects/trophies, worst if it’s a toy – something to play with and thrown aside when one gets bored of it.
  2. I really do not appreciate females who keep using PMS as an excuse to get their ways. You’re just making lives harder for the guys and pushing them away from you. Then you complain about them cheating. Wow. Really.

No. I’m not a 40-year-old middle-age mother or single or something. I’m just a simple 21 year old young lady (or some people still call me girl cause of my looks) who just witnessed a horrifying trend amongst couples these days.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but youngsters these days (yes, even those at my age) are starting to take relationships a little too lightly. They bypass the dating stage and happily jump into a relationship and boast about it on their Facebook status, Twitter status etc.  Like, “Bla bla bla has changed from Single to In A Relationship”. And within a few weeks or so, the same person would become single again. Then attached. Then Single. Attached. Single. Attached – ok you get my point. Why? They aren’t ready to handle arguments. They’re kids, they can’t think critically, they think they’re all grown up when they are NOWHERE near being an adult. So what happens when they argue? Cry and break up lor. Then it’s either jump ship or get back together.

Just so you know, it’s a growing trend.

In the past, the term ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ is a treasured term, used ONLY towards SPECIFIC people. Nowadays ah? FREE FLOW! We are starting to use these terms VERY loosely. Words like ‘Love’ are even worst and very VERY over rated now.

Nowadays I see KIDS! YES KIDS! Barely out of Primary School with some even JUST entering Primary school, dating. Going out. And boasting “Oh I Love my boyfriend.” or “I love my girlfriend.” I facepalm. Do they even know what a girlfriend or boyfriend is? Do they even know the consequences of being in a relationship? Do they even KNOW WHAT A RELATIONSHIP is?!

Then we have STOMPers who post up various photos of people PDA-ing. There’re some reasons why some things should be done behind closed doors. It’s just weird. And BEFORE you start going on about how things are like that these days, stop. It’s about respecting the previous generation’s ideals. Yes, they are old-fashioned but they are STILL the generation that gave us the base and foundation to grow up in. So yea, think about that before you start criticizing the older generation.

I’ve heard horror stories of students killing themselves, cutting themselves, and hurting themselves in ways that I would not like to describe, just cause of a break-up. If you are NOT ready to enter a relationship, DON’T!

Until you are SURE that you’re emotionally ready to handle a relationship, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not enter one.

And if you have not finished your international exams (O levels and A levels), unless you are born more matured than others, you SHOULD NOT be in a relationship.

Crushes, puppy love, sometimes it gets too overwhelming but stop and think. Sometimes your crush might be an asshole even though he or she appears to be charismatic/charming at first look. I’ve seen many people getting hurt because their partners are an ass.

If, you have finished your international exams, and reckon you’re ready…here are some tips:

  1. EVALUATE YOUR POTENTIAL PARTNER – this is very important. Don’t jump into a relationship immediately. Take your time, evaluate. If that person doesn’t wait for you, he or she is not worth it.
  2. LEARN TO SAY NO – If your partner pressurizes you into doing something you are not comfortable with (most commonly sex, but not just that of course, could be anything) say no. Of course only say no when it goes against your personal morals OR if it endangers you one way or another (Assisting in chores is NOT an endangering activity my dear females and males out there)
  3. BE YOURSELF – Compromise for your partner, yes. Changing totally for your partner, NO! Please do not change your style of dressing or character for your partner. Do so ONLY IF you wish to do it of your own free will. Do not do so because your partner says so. Stand up for yourself. If your partner is too domineering for you, walk away. Do not lose control over your own life because of that one person.
  4. BE EMPATHETIC – Your partner is a living, breathing human too. Treat him/her like one. Learn to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. You don’t have to feel what he/she feels, just understand why he/she is feeling a certain way. (Yes, guys. It’s hard for you to do it for your girlfriends but just try. And girls, do not constantly make things difficult for your boyfriends by acting spoilt and being demanding.)
  5. LET BYGONES BE BYGONES – Arguments? Fine. It’s common. Just make sure you two come to a conclusion/compromise, wrap the case up and throw it away. DO NOT EVER EVER bring up old arguments to new ones. It just make things worst. And NEVER EVER let arguments be left hanging. It can build up, snowball and lead to chaotic situations.
  6. BE SELFLESS – In a relationship, it’s no longer about me, me, me. You have to make some sacrifices. Whether it be space, or freedom. (Ironically for me, I had more freedom after being in a relationship.) But remember, compromise to a level that you are both comfortable with. Negotiate if you have to.
  7. BE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER – YES! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! Don’t just be lovers. Be friends! Be siblings! That’s how my fiance and I survive. We do not see each other as just lovers but friends and siblings as well. We talk to each other and discuss things as friends when we find that things are not going well between us.
  8. GOLD-DIGGERS? GET LOST. If you suspect your partner is a gold-digger, do not hesitate to walk away. Seriously, not worth it. If they’re only after you for money, let them go after Sugar Daddy or Mummys instead. Makes more logic sense and saves you the trouble of becoming bankrupt.

In conclusion…don’t enter a relationship if you’re not ready and do NOT take relationships lightly. It should only occur if you really love the person. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try out relationships but please make sure you are ready emotionally, physically and financially. Ok?

Life-changing decision part 4

“So? When did I ever chase your friends away?” 

“Let’s see…there’s my soccer buddies, there’s Norn, the guy I liked a lot…need more examples?”

“Norn? I didn’t chase him away! WHY would I? He’s a decent guy!” I fumed on the inside.

“Again, directly no. Indirectly, yes. You always showed your dislike for him; calling him up and intimidating him in every way possible!”

“I don’t do that! I -“

“Yes, you do! Every time I hang out with him, you do that! You even threatened suicide after finding out that I was with him. In school. STUDYING! AND NOW YOU BLOODY COME AND TELL ME ‘HE’S DECENT?!’ DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SCARED AND HURT I WAS?! 19 FULL YEARS OF MENTAL TORMENT!”

“Suicide? what suicide?” She gave me an oh-so-innocent look that made me want to shake the truth out of her. 

She’s smart. You have to give her that. She’s devilishly, deviously, smart. She never leaves any traces of herself which puts her at a disadvantage. That is what you get for working in a sales office environment for too long. 

A mother who plays politics with her family.

A mother who sees her own child as a pawn. 

Cool, huh?

“You know what? Forget it. I know you too well, living with you for my entire life. You would just dismiss everything again, like how you always do.” My anger ebbed away slightly, leaving me half-drained.

“Well? Speak! What did I do?” Acting dumb. Another trait of hers which nearly led to my own suicide. 

“YOU dropped me a text message, TELLING me to go collect your body at WindsFork station! Oh, I’m not done by the way. I still remember that night. The night where YOU came all the way down to public, gave me a good shelling and dragged me home. Did you have any idea how embarrassing that was? DO YOU?! HUH?! It was BAD ENOUGH that you did it in public, but you did it in front of my FRIENDS AND! THE GUY. I. LIKE! ARE YOU THAT INSENSITIVE?! OR ARE YOU SIMPLY OUT THERE TO TORMENT ME?!” I paused to catch my breath.

“NOW I get it. You want to beat the life out of me, torment me,so that I will be like a good little puppy who obeys her mistress’s every single command, eh? I know what you are trying to do.”

“You are pushing me away from him because you know HE will NOT stand up to you. Tell you off. Destroy your delusion. Prove you wrong AND follow you blindly.” By now, I swore I saw steam coming out from my ears.

“Mummy loves you. Mummy just wants the best for you, that’s all!” I gave my most sarcastic grin I could muster.

“Love? You expect me to believe your bullshit? All these years you drove away ALL my guy friends who got, in your opinion, too close to me. If you are a simple traditional mother, I COULD and I WOULD understand. BUT you did something that eliminates that option.”

I took a deep breath and trembled as heart-wrenching memories flooded my mind.

“You pushed me over to that son-of-a-bitch. And for what? Money.”

That concludes another chapter for this short series ‘Life-Changing Decision’. Tune in for the upcoming ones =D It’s ending soon =p

Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 1