‘Women most likely to have affairs at age 37’

Data: Women most likely to have affairs at age 37

Lianhe Wanbao

A compilation of Singapore’s statistics has found that local women are most likely to have extramarital affairs at the age of 37.

This is according to data published in the Singapore’s Department of Statistics Yearbook for 2011.

On this trend, a counsellor from Fei Yue Community Services says that women between 35 to 40 years old can easily fall in love again, leading to problems in their existing marriage.

According to the counsellor, most women would have established their careers by that age and also no longer devote a lot of time to caring for their children, who would already be schooling.

With more free time on their hands, these women will begin to feel lonely.

“When she is free, she will reminisce about the intimacy she had enjoyed with her husband in the past. She’ll hope for her husband to spend more time with her and shower more care on her.”

Craving affection, these lonely women can more easily stray from their marriages.

Source: Lianhe Wanbao, 3 February 2012. Click here for the Chinese report.

Yes I’m a person who thrives on logic and statistics. HOWEVER, I also know that there are times when statistics are inaccurate, therefore, should be taken with a pinch of salt.
THIS – is one of those times.
I have never quite believed that one would be more likely to have affairs at a certain age or being a certain sex alone. There are many other factors that come into play. The strength of the couple’s bond, their upbringing, their personalities, their characterse, morals, principles etc.
The reasoning is here is rather weak.  Or maybe it’s just me. Cause in my opinion, no amount of excuses can cover up the action of having an extra-marital affair. It’s just courting trouble through and through.
Imagine if it’s your partner having the affair, how would you feel? Hurt? Betrayed? Angry? How would your children feel? Think about it.
‘More free time’ and ‘loneliness’ does not justify anything. If you have free time, go hang out with your female friends, why must it be guys? Even if it has to be guys, don’t go one-on-one and watch yourself – keep a distance – or just avoid it altogether.
Loneliness? Lack of intimacy? Talk to your husband. Take time off. Go out on a date. Rekindle those feelings. It’s not easy but then again, since when is maintaining a relationship simple? Relationship is a commitment. That’s that.  NEVER use that as an excuse to go out and have an affair.
And guys out there who’s wives really did have an affair, or vice versa, you’re not off the hook. Whenever either partner has an affair, it’s both parties’ fault. It takes two to clap – and in a relationship – it’s rather true.
There ARE guys out there who really don’t show enough love, care and concern to their wives. I personally know one who goes out all the time and leave all the care-taking to his wife, giving her no emotional support. It sort of started a vicious cycle which ended with their marriage crumbling.
All in all, two conclusions:
1. Affairs can happen at any point in your marriage. Being 37 or 40 or 50 does not mean you will be more or less likely to have one.
2. There are no excuses in this realm that can cover up for the action of having an affair.
Cheers everyone ~
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5 Reasons Women Don’t like Nice Guys (Yahoo News)

Full article: http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/5-reasons-women-dont-nice-guys-150300638.html?

What do I think? Here they are –

1. It’s hard for some of us to trust a Nice Guy. 

No, I do not think that the more trustworthy a guy seems, the harder it is for the women to believe that the guy is as good as he seems. It all boils down to how the women is brought up, not just the whole dating thing, but her surroundings as well. (Duh, if I were to see jackass guys everyday I’d think think that guys are jerks by nature and those who are nice are just acting to get in my pants…or skirt…or dress.)

However, I do agree with this sentence in the article ‘women get kind of jaded about the whole Nice Guy thing (after dating too many jerks)’. I’ve never really dated guys…just had one really horrendous relationship (don’t think it’s even counted but never mind that) and now I’m in a stable, mature relationship that I HOPE will last.

Trusting guys (or anyone for that matter) isn’t easy. We just have to observe (in depth please, not see, look, judge and that’s that.) and come up with our own conclusions. Time? Of course it takes time.

2. Bad Boys care about themselves — a lot — and it makes us think they care about us

To all females (or ANYONE) who think this way…here’s a picture for you:

No, really. Y U NO SEE THAT THIS IS JUST BEING SELFISH?! Those are potential MCPS. I’m not saying that all badass dudes are like that, i’m just saying they COULD be which isn’t the same as saying they ARE. I COULD have cut myself and be an emo-goth chick but I DIDN’T. (Sorry for rambling but I have something against people who jump to conclusions too easily)

Well, I know we aren’t mind-readers by nature but still…unless you’re a submissive, demure to-be-tai-tai or housewife material. These sort of guys are just gonna get on your nerves for being too dominating or overbearing.

Seriously, why do you females out there think these guys are cool anyways? I don’t get it.

3. Nice Guys have their shit together. Bad Boys don’t. Women like a challenge.

Yes. That’s all I have to say. O RLY (Oh, Really?) Wait till you have a wish to settle down and start a family. I challenge all you females out there to do it. Of course, if you do succeed in the challenge, I shall bow down in defeat.

4. Some women are afraid of intimacy. The one thing the Bad Boy rarely does is want to become intimate.

Then don’t enter a relationship. What’s the point of being in a relationship if you don’t wish to be intimate with your partner? Love and intimacy are EXTREMELY important in a relationship.

5. Some women suffer low self-esteem.

These women need help. They don’t need a bad boy who treats her badly. They need PROFESSIONAL help. I myself was a victim and I’m really glad I sought professional help and not let myself be left to continue in the vicious cycle. But then again, it’s up to you.

In conclusion…

This is a rather stereotypical article in my opinion.

 

Life-changing decision part 4

“So? When did I ever chase your friends away?” 

“Let’s see…there’s my soccer buddies, there’s Norn, the guy I liked a lot…need more examples?”

“Norn? I didn’t chase him away! WHY would I? He’s a decent guy!” I fumed on the inside.

“Again, directly no. Indirectly, yes. You always showed your dislike for him; calling him up and intimidating him in every way possible!”

“I don’t do that! I -“

“Yes, you do! Every time I hang out with him, you do that! You even threatened suicide after finding out that I was with him. In school. STUDYING! AND NOW YOU BLOODY COME AND TELL ME ‘HE’S DECENT?!’ DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SCARED AND HURT I WAS?! 19 FULL YEARS OF MENTAL TORMENT!”

“Suicide? what suicide?” She gave me an oh-so-innocent look that made me want to shake the truth out of her. 

She’s smart. You have to give her that. She’s devilishly, deviously, smart. She never leaves any traces of herself which puts her at a disadvantage. That is what you get for working in a sales office environment for too long. 

A mother who plays politics with her family.

A mother who sees her own child as a pawn. 

Cool, huh?

“You know what? Forget it. I know you too well, living with you for my entire life. You would just dismiss everything again, like how you always do.” My anger ebbed away slightly, leaving me half-drained.

“Well? Speak! What did I do?” Acting dumb. Another trait of hers which nearly led to my own suicide. 

“YOU dropped me a text message, TELLING me to go collect your body at WindsFork station! Oh, I’m not done by the way. I still remember that night. The night where YOU came all the way down to public, gave me a good shelling and dragged me home. Did you have any idea how embarrassing that was? DO YOU?! HUH?! It was BAD ENOUGH that you did it in public, but you did it in front of my FRIENDS AND! THE GUY. I. LIKE! ARE YOU THAT INSENSITIVE?! OR ARE YOU SIMPLY OUT THERE TO TORMENT ME?!” I paused to catch my breath.

“NOW I get it. You want to beat the life out of me, torment me,so that I will be like a good little puppy who obeys her mistress’s every single command, eh? I know what you are trying to do.”

“You are pushing me away from him because you know HE will NOT stand up to you. Tell you off. Destroy your delusion. Prove you wrong AND follow you blindly.” By now, I swore I saw steam coming out from my ears.

“Mummy loves you. Mummy just wants the best for you, that’s all!” I gave my most sarcastic grin I could muster.

“Love? You expect me to believe your bullshit? All these years you drove away ALL my guy friends who got, in your opinion, too close to me. If you are a simple traditional mother, I COULD and I WOULD understand. BUT you did something that eliminates that option.”

I took a deep breath and trembled as heart-wrenching memories flooded my mind.

“You pushed me over to that son-of-a-bitch. And for what? Money.”

That concludes another chapter for this short series ‘Life-Changing Decision’. Tune in for the upcoming ones =D It’s ending soon =p

Chapter 3
Chapter 2
Chapter 1